Bri, miss you more than ever. Today was much like the day of the accident- dreary, rainy and cold. I miss you every day , but more during this time. All the "what ifs" come pounding on my head and my heart wishes to back things I shouldn't have said and say the words that were in my heart. Those words would have been " I want you to come and stay. I love you no matter what." Those would be the words I would say today too. It is still so very hard. I miss your smile, your laugh, your craziness, your eye roll. I wonder what the real reason was that you felt you couldnt stay at home. Was it something I did or didnt do. So many times I have asked you to forgive me for all the mistakes I made towards you. I wasn't a very good mother- I was afraid of loosing you by saying the wrong thing...and now I have to wait, in some ways I lost you anyway because you are not here sharing your life with me. I know you are happy, but I do miss you so very very much. love mama